Enabling?

Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. (Luke 7:27-28)

Familiar passage right? Love your enemies, pray for them, do good to them, I know, I get it, I do that (sometimes.) Don't I? I have struggled with these words and what they really mean. Who is my enemy? Who is it that curses me or abuses me? And what does it mean to "do good" to them or to "bless" them? Isn't it just enabling them at some point if they just keep on cursing and hating and abusing? Isn't it simply unjust to continue doing good to someone who doesn't act grateful?

I have prayed and cried, and been outraged and angry, and overjoyed and delighted, and hurt and lonely, and humbled and grateful because of these verses many times in the last several months. I have felt betrayed by those "enemies" I have tried to bless, and I have felt betrayed by other believers who have questioned my "blessing." I have been sure that I am right and that I am loving the way that Jesus loved, and other times I have been sure that my skeptics are right and my "doing good" is just enabling people to continue in sinful patterns. These things seem so easy to figure out, until you actually DO them!

Today, my husband read me this passage (because he is preaching through Luke right now) and I was amazed at the rest of the story here. I always read over it so quickly before. Here is the rest.

Luke 7

27 “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29 To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. 30 Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. 31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.

32 “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. 35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. 36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.

There is so much here, and I won't bore you with my thoughts on all of it, but a couple things really hit me upside the head today. "from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either." and "Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back." This is REALLY radical! Is there ever a time when you can give too much? Seriously?

When someone steals from you and then comes and asks you to help them, what do you do? (v. 29b) If you are tempted to say, "well if they repent of stealing from me then maybe I would help them," look again at the verses... they never mention repentance. Jesus is talking about ENEMIES here! Those who curse you and abuse you!

When someone needs your help (I'm talking real, tangible, uncomfortable, financial, burden-yourself help) and you KNOW that they are going to go out the next day and buy cigarettes and beer and run themselves into debt again, what do you do? (v. 30) Again, Jesus never mentions anyone "getting their act together," he just says "give to everyone... do not demand... love... bless... pray... offer... lend... be merciful"

Is God "enabling" me every time He gives me another breath knowing that, more often than not, I am going to use that breath to build my own kingdom rather than His? Is He "enabling" me every time He gives me a penny, knowing that, more often than not, I am going to use it to fulfill my own temporary desires rather than further the cause of Christ? Probably. But He keeps on giving!

35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. 36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.

He is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Wow! This is an amazing love, and one that I think we are supposed to emulate. Not easy, but freeing. I think it's OK to love! I think it's OK to err on the side of grace. I think it's OK to help someone who squanders away your blessing. God does it with me everyday.

Lord,
Teach me to love better, to love more, and to love freely. Keep me focused on the "great reward" to come, when I will be allowed to live an eternity in Your presence where there is fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore. Let the consequences of giving freely in this fallen world be overshadowed in my heart by the thought of the joy that awaits me.

When my world is shaking...

...Heaven stands.

We Shall See Him As He Is

1 John 3

3:1 See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 2 Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. 3 And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure.

I was struck by this line today, "... we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is." If this is true, (and it is,) then the closer we get to seeing him for who he really is, the more we will be like him. Sounds so simple. And it is. If we're talking about a painting or a flower. I can look at these and see what they are. Even another person, although complex, after studying a person for years (like my husband) I can pretty well have him figured out. But JESUS? That's another matter. He is the "fountain of living waters!" Fountains don't quit, they just keep spewing more water, you never get to the end of it. You can't exhaust it. Everything about Him is like a fountain.

"Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!" (Rom 11:33)

So I guess that is why we have to wait for his return until we truly see Him as He is. We have to wait until we shed these half-blinded eyes and hardened hearts. In the meantime, though, I want a taste, I want to keep trying to get to the end of the water... even though I know I can't. It's like trying to satisfy that deep-down, heart-aching desire for your lover... the more you get, the more you want, and it never ends. But the desire is part of the fulfillment, part of the fun of it, right? Only it's never completely quenched.

One day, our Bridegroom will fulfill all of our deepest desires by fulfilling that One desire that these earthly desires only point to.

By the way, if you're married and you don't remember that kind of desire, you should nurture that feeling back to life... God gave it to us to point to our desire for Him and His desire for us. If marriage is a picture of Christ and His Bride, maybe a marriage without desire is not a very good picture.

"Father, keep me in the place where I am longing for the Living Water! The more I get, the more I want. But when I let other things overtake this desire, my heart gets hard, I don't care if I get it or not, and I find myself dehydrated and wondering why! It is you that has pulled me out of the pit, and you that keeps me. So I can only beg for more! Keep your Word in my heart, on my lips, and let the Living Water overflow into the lives of others."

Abiding

1 John 2

9Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. 10 Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. 11 But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.

15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. 17 And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.

28 And now, little children, abide in him, so that when he appears we may have confidence and not shrink from him in shame at his coming.

"Father, just teach me to abide in you! Let me see and long for Your beauty so that the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and the pride in possessions fade away. Let me learn to love well so that darkness does not blind my eyes. You are so faithful, Lord, and I am so fickle. Teach me to walk as You walked and love as you love. Teach me to look to the eternal joy that you have set before me, rather than the cheap, imitation joy that I can make for myself here! I fall at your feet because of your sacrifice. I am amazed that because of You, I can have confidence and not shrink from shame at your coming!"

Things You Were Never Meant To Shoulder

All of your tears are the wages for things you've done.
All of those nights spent alone in the darkness of your mind.
Give it up, let it go. These are things you were never meant to shoulder.

Are you carrying burdens that have already been carried for you?
Are you running from a past that has already been wiped clean?
You don't have to. Look to the cross. The river that washed you clean is still flowing. Jump in. Remember how it rushes over you. Remember how clean it makes you feel. Remember that you can't clean yourself up enough that you don't need the River.




Psalm 38: 4-8
My guilt overwhelms me—
it is a burden too heavy to bear.
My wounds fester and stink
because of my foolish sins.
I am bent over and racked with pain.
All day long I walk around filled with grief.
A raging fever burns within me,
and my health is broken.
I am exhausted and completely crushed.
My groans come from an anguished heart.

Isaiah 61:7

Instead of shame and dishonor,
you will enjoy a double share of honor.
You will possess a double portion of prosperity in your land,
and everlasting joy will be yours.

Psalm 34:4-5
I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me.
He freed me from all my fears.
Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;
no shadow of shame will darken their faces.

Light

1 John 1

5 This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. 6 If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.

"Father, as you prepare my heart for service, show me the light. I long to be warmed by it, but also to catch fire from it. I need the light to shine on my path, and I need it to blind my eyes to everything else. You are the Light, and You are the Consuming Fire, and I want to feel the heat! My heart's desire is to walk in the light, You are the light, so reveal Yourself to me yet again, Lord. Shine Your light on my heart, search me and know me, I am laid bare before You, cleanse me so that I can lay down my life for others."

God Of All Comfort

Well, I'm back... but my mind is being stubborn and indecisive! So I need your help... I can't decide what book of the Bible to pray through! Any suggestions? Pray for me, dear sisters! I desperately want to get back into routine, but I feel like I am fighting a losing battle here! Even for this one simple thing, I can't just make a decision and move forward. God has great things lined up, I just know it! And the Enemy knows it as well, but He that is in me is greater than he that is in the world and the Lord will prevail! I am reading 2 Corinthians this week for something else, so for today, I'll go with that...

2 Corinthians 1

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. 6 If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. 7 Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.

The Lord has given me a wonderful illustration of these verses in the last month. For the most part, I have had very little affliction in my life,(maybe that's why I am not very good at comforting others!) Most of my affliction has been brought about by my own hands through sin and rebellion. But, even in those times, in those self-inflicted afflictions, my Shepherd has been so faithful to comfort me. At times, I have seen my sin and trembled and had to look away, and He has been there, holding my hand, and gently turning my gaze toward the cross. He has recently brought a dear friend into my life who has been afflicted in the past, at times by her own hands, and at times by Providence, and the Lord has used her to wrap me with His comfort in a way that I have never experienced! I was amazed to read these verses and think about how He is orchestrating every circumstance in our lives. How could this dear woman know that years later the Lord's glory and his Bride's joy would be multiplied by her afflictions? And now, I want to be her, I want to be the one to bring the comfort of God into the lives of others, and I believe that He is going to bless me with that opportunity!

"Father, I am so amazed at the way that you comfort your people! Afflictions I understand, we have earned those, and worse. But Your comfort, and love, and gentleness, and favor, I cannot comprehend. That our afflictions are not for punishment, but rather for our joy and for the joy and salvation of others is such a beautiful gift. Lord, make me more like you, give me the heart to comfort, give me the heart of a servant. Teach me to look beyond myself and my little life and use me for your eternal glory!"

Who Am I?

Who Am I/Grace Flows Down (click to watch)

Over time You’ve healed so much in me
And I am living proof
That although my darkest hour would come
Your light could still shine through
Though at times it’s just enough to cast
A shadow on the wall
Well I am grateful that
You shine Your light on me at all

Who am I
That You would love me so gently?
Who am I
That You would recognize my name?
Lord, who am I
That You would speak to me so softly?
Conversation with the Love most high,..
Who am I?

Well, amazing grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now I’m found
Was blind but now I see
And the more I sing that sweet old song
The more I understand-
That I do not comprehend this love
That’s coming from Your hand…

Grace, grace
God’s grace
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within
Grace, grace
God’s grace
Grace that is greater than all our sin…

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
Amazing love, now flowing down
From hands and feet
That were nailed to the tree
Grace flows down and covers me…

Instead of slamming me upside the head, which He has every right to do, (and sometimes does,) the Lord has spoken to me so gently and so softly in the last month! He has brought about the perfect circumstances and put the perfect people into my life to renew my hunger for His Word! I heard this song a couple weeks ago, and though it is one of my old favorites, it suddenly came to life! All this to say... Monday... I'm back.

Consumed With My First Love

Acts 2

42 And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. 43 And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. 44 And all who believed were together and had all things in common. 45 And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. 46 And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, 47 praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.

I don't really know why I began reading in Acts this week. I usually have a rational thought process before deciding what to read. This time I just finished John (which I am reading for accountability with a new believer) and my eyes hit the next page, so I started reading Acts. When I read this passage in Chapter 2, my heart was suddenly filled with overwhelming desire. I have read these verses many times in books about church and discipleship, and I have heard them preached and I know the significance of them. But this time, I caught a glimpse of a scene where everyone was consumed with Christ the way we are consumed with a new lover... (Do you remember?) Something in me wanted to be immediately transported to this scene.

I want to be consumed with nothing else but God's Kingdom! I want to throw everything else away. This life is a vapor, a breath, and we have ONE mission here, to keep each other strong in our pursuit of Christ in order that we can see "the Lord adding to our number day by day!" There are endless distractions that keep us from this mission. We are constantly trying to get what we can out of this life, when Jesus promised us that if we would lose this life for His sake, we would gain EVERYTHING.

God help me not be satisfied with the petty toys and pleasures that are available to me here. Amaze me everyday with who you are, so that all of these other things just fade away and I continue to strive for the ultimate prize. I thank you that you have promised to keep me, and that nothing can pluck me out of your hand, because there are a whole lot of somethings giving it their best shot!

Psalm 1: Revisited

I sought the Psalms this evening for some much needed hydration. My soul is parched. The good soil is being harvested all around me, and yet, inside I feel like I'm living in the desert. My dear friend and sister (again) said the words that I have said to others so many times but have such a hard time following, "soak in the Word!" So I started at Psalm 1. As I read I realized that I had posted on this a couple of months ago, and I thought, "I wonder what I wrote," so I checked.

How ironic! The words that I wrote only 2 months ago cut my heart in two! They were fresh like I had never heard them before, but familiar like I knew when I was writing them that I was going to need them. Only I didn't know... God did. The Holy Spirit is alive and active. To think that he was planning this 2 months ago blows my mind. Why does he even care? Because it is all part of the story of redemption! That's why I will get back on track.

Here is what I wrote. And in the meantime, in some ways, because I have not exercised caution, I have become like those I am trying to reach. I have not outwardly acted like them, but in ways I have begun to think like the world. I have indulged aspects of my personality I forgot existed! So do I quarantine myself to keep out the sin? No! I can't! God is doing mighty things in the lives of the people I have allowed into my life. I believe this is the very battle that God wants us engaged in. The answer is in Psalm 1. Delight in the Word!! And I have lost all delight in it in the past few weeks. I have done without the one thing I knew 2 months ago that I couldn't do without.

Father, I am begging you to give me the hunger. "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied." Forgive me for thinking that I could do this on my own. I want to chase after your glory, not mine. I want to bear your fruit in your time, and I know that I need YOU to do that. Make me the "tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers." Everything is failing, and now I know why. Thank you for your Word, thank you for the Spirit, and thank you for the friendship of beautiful people who are chasing your glory and speaking your truth.

How wimpy am I?!

Ephesians 6

5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, 6 not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, 7 rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, 8 knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free. 9 Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.

If God is telling slaves to obey their masters with a sincere heart, rendering service as to the Lord and not to man, how WIMPY am I when I grumble about the "hard day" that I have? Or when I feel sorry for myself because my family expects "too much" of me? Or when I have to help someone (render service) on a day that I didn't really want to?

I am reading Uncle Tom's Cabin right now so when I see the word "slave" it brings a vivid image to mind. And when I see that God is telling them, "It's OK, you can get through it, just do it as service for me, and I will reward you more than anything you can gain in this world," it gives me great hope. First, hope for all of the slaves that have been so grossly mistreated, here in our country, and around the world. For those who had placed their hope in Jesus, they have finally found rest and fulfillment and true life. Second, it gives me hope for me! I don't have to try to fight for my own way all the time, I can just serve and rest in Christ and know that I don't have to get mine now, I'll be given more in heaven than I could ever steal here!!

(If you've never read Uncle Tom's Cabin, it's not easy reading, but it's well worth the time! It's giving me a whole new perspective on suffering and injustice. Sometimes we need stories more than we need facts.)

Lord, thank you for your forgiveness for my stubborn, self-centered heart. Give me the grace of a content slave, knowing that the more that is expected of me here that I do as service to you, the more treasure I am building in heaven. Help me to keep my eyes and heart zoomed in on YOU. Give me tunnel-vision so that I am free to give myself in service to others. Give me your heart for my children and allow me to serve them gladly! Thank you for the promise of so great a reward, to be able to see you face to face and enjoy you, the fountain of joy, for all eternity. The polar opposite of what I deserve.

Who's love story is this?

Ephesians 5: 22-32

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Wow, I think I have heard and read this passage more than any other in the whole Bible. Mostly because every woman's book, bible study, or conference seems to focus here for at least a time. With good reason, this and the couple of verses in Titus 2 are two of the very few passages that give direct commands to women specifically. However, I have found in my own marriage that if I focus too much on this command and not enough on the context of it, my marriage gets worse not better. Or it gets better on the surface, but God is not necessarily glorified. Maybe that's why Paul acts like marriage is the secondary issue in what he is saying here.

He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Everything that is said in these verses is referring to Christ and the church first and foremost. That is the greatest reality, that is what is going to last forever. That is the Great Romance. Our marriages are serving this greater reality of Christ and the church. So much so that at the end of it, Paul has to remind us (v. 33 "however") that it is a good idea that husbands love and wives respect. He has to do that because right before it he basically says, I'm not really talking about your marriage, only so far as it is a picture of who Christ is and how he relates to his church.

How many times have you heard this passage talked about or preached about with the main idea being the wonderful romance between Christ and His bride? Usually that is only talked about as a way to show us how we should submit and how we should love in our own marriages. What a therapeutic culture we live in. In reality it is the other way around. We should submit and love and have good marriages so that people can see the greater beautiful picture of Christ and His church. God did not make marriage the main issue and then use Christ and the church as an illustration. He always makes Christ the main issue. Everything else on this earth is just an illustration!

How easy it is to put all of our focus on this world, this life, this vapor, when preachers, and teachers, and authors, and leaders are trying to use the bible to make our marriages happier, and our kids better, and our jobs more fulfilling, and our lives more successful. When actually, God intends to use all of these things to exalt Christ, not use Christ to exalt us. Now, when Christ is exalted, the happiness of his people is inevitable. When our lives are laid down, he exalts us. He wants us to seek happiness with our whole hearts, through him. But if we are looking for happiness directly from our marriages by submitting and respecting our husbands and thinking that is going to make everything perfect, we WILL be disappointed.

I'm stepping down off of my soapbox now!

Father, help me to see YOU when I read the scriptures. Help me to keep you and your kingdom at the center of my universe. Give me grace to submit to my husband and give the church grace to submit to you. Help my marriage be as accurate a picture of Christ and His church as two sinners could make it. Thank you for showing me your unending, unchanging, unbreakable love through the tenacious love of my husband that seems to cover all of my sin and shortcomings. Thank you most of all for giving yourself up for your bride. I cannot imagine the day when we are presented to you in splendor, without spot or wrinkle, holy and without blemish to be your bride through all eternity. What a love story!

The Dangers of Penetrating the Darkness

Ephesians 5:1-21

8 for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 9 (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), 10 and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. 11 Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. 13 But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, 14 for anything that becomes visible is light.

It is such a struggle to live in this fallen world, to take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness. For Christians who are trying to keep their hearts and minds safe, and their lives pure, outside influences can be such a hindrance and a danger. The world is full of darkness and we want to stay as far away from the darkness as we possibly can. It's not easy. Turn on the television. Log on to the internet. Drive down the highway. Listen to children talk on the playground. Listen to women talk on the phone. Listen to men talk at work. The Darkness is like slime oozing out of everything in this world.

But we are faced with these situations everyday. Most of us partake in TV. We put our hands over our children's eyes during the "bad" commercials, but then watch the shows that are promoting self-centeredness, and idolotry. We log on to the internet with a filter to filter out the "bad stuff" and then slam each other on blogs and email, and spend God's money on Ebay on things we don't need. We try not to see the racy billboards on our way to an all-you-can-eat buffet every other night to spend money we don't have on food we shouldn't eat. And on and on.

But did God actually ask us to stay away from the darkness? Or did He send us to expose it and light it up? Most of what we do, we do in our Christian homes and with our Christian friends, all the while trying to keep out the darkness. Trying to be in the world, but not of it. In reality, I think what we end up doing is being of the world (partaking in most of the things that the world does) and not in it (doing it with our Christian friends instead of reaching out to those in darkness.)

My question is, how can we expose the darkness if we are not near it? Light penetrates the darkness only when it engages it. If you light a candle two rooms away from the room that is dark, it doesn't do much good. So how much good are we doing, when the darkness in our lives is coming mostly from inanimate objects (TV, internet, etc.?) Our light never gets anywhere near the darkness in the hearts of unregenerate people because we are scared to death to be around them. What will my friends think if they see me hanging out with a drunk? If I'm not in the church building or small group, what business do I have eating with heathens? What if I get caught in a restaurant with a non-christian and she orders a glass of wine. Maybe 3 glasses and starts to show the effect? What if I'm giggling and laughing with her and everyone thinks I'm drunk, too. Are you getting nervous for me?

Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear him. 2 And the Pharisees and the scribes grumbled, saying, “This man receives sinners and eats with them.”

10 And as Jesus reclined at table in the house, behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and were reclining with Jesus and his disciples. 11 And when the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”

The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Look at him! A glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’

These things were said about Jesus. Am I afraid to have them said about me? Yeah, sometimes I am. Sometimes I don't know where to draw the line. I don't have the perfect mind of God like Jesus did. But I do know that I cannot spend all of my days basking in the bright light of so many Christians gathered together. At some point we have to disperse and shine our lights into the dark places. Are we going to fall into sin, as we eat with sinners? Maybe. Are we going to be ridiculed? Probably. Are we going to cross the line of being of the world instead of just in it? I hope not. But are we already crossing that line in our homes, while keeping our light under a bushel? Probably.

"If you are a preacher of mercy, do not preach an imaginary but the true mercy. If the mercy is true, you must therefore bear the true, not an imaginary sin. God does not save those who are only imaginary sinners. Be a sinner, and let your sins be strong (sin boldly), but let your trust in Christ be stronger, and rejoice in Christ who is the victor over sin, death, and the world. We will commit sins while we are here, for this life is not a place where justice resides. We, however, says Peter (2. Peter 3:13) are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth where justice will reign." ~Martin Luther

Father, help me, today, to discern what is pleasing to you. Clear my heart and mind of all of the preconcieved notions that I have of you and of what it means to be a disciple. Then fill me with the truth. Be near me, Lord, and keep me safe from the dangers of the darkness, even as I walk directly into it. Shine brightly, so that others will see you. Forgive me for when I have crossed the line and partaken in the unfruitful works of darkness. But help me to be bold and courageous in being near the darkness in order to bear fruit for your Kingdom. And in those times when I am uncertain, thank you that you are my all in all, and because of you, I am FREE!

Ephesians 4

I sat at my computer yesterday morning and typed a sentence, then deleted it... then typed a sentence, then deleted it. Finally, I realized that I really didn't have anything to share. My spirit was rather dry, so I had nothing overflowing to give to others. Before I tried to post, I tried to pray. It wasn't much better. I didn't know what to pray, so I just asked God to sort out my heart and mend it, because I didn't know why I was feeling so down.

1 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

God did sort out my heart. He did it through a dear friend who was walking in the manner worthy of her calling. She encouraged me with the gospel, with the fact that even though I felt far away, the Spirit was near, interceding for me. Then she was bold enough to ask me if I had any unconfessed sin that needed to be addressed. Wow! Short version of the story: I did, and because she asked, I humbled myself and went God for forgiveness and to the person that I had wronged. After I did, I felt so free, the way that those who the Son has set free should feel. I am thankful that God didn't leave us on this earth to fight against the darkness alone! He left us the rest of the body of Christ to bear with us in love.

15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

Father, let me not forget that we are each a crucial part of your body. You have a part for each of us to play, and when we play our part, lives are changed. Help me to see each of my brothers and sisters as important to my sanctification, and I to them, so that we can build the body up in love, and we can bring in the rest of the body who has yet to be added. Thank you for not leaving me here to flounder on my own, for my heart is deceitful and so many times I don't know it. Bring unity to the body here, Lord. Let us stand united against the darkness and watch you scatter your Light to places and people that have never seen it.

The Love of Christ That Surpasses Knowledge

Ephesians 3

14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, 16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

I prayed these verses and others in Ephesians 3 with fervency this morning. This is near and dear to my heart right now that the Christians around me, including myself, would be strengthened with power through the Spirit. And that we would know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge.

I absolutely love that He uses these words here, "surpasses knowledge." Sometimes I am tempted to think that what we need is more learning, more training, we need to understand more. But I think the truth is that we need Christ, himself! The love of Christ surpasses knowledge. Being filled with all the fullness of God has to mean more than understanding doctrine. I am convinced that Christians need to soak in God's Word, not just for the purpose of knowledge, but to actually let the Holy Spirit transform us in a supernatural way as we gaze on Christ and comprehend His love and all that He is. The Word is alive and active! Not the ink on the page, but the Holy Spirit's breath in our ears as we read it. I pray that we would see a revival of believers being passionate about hearing from God through His Word.

20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Father, I thank you that you are a God who is able to do far more abundantly than all I ask or think! All of the visions that I can muster of a great work being done in this area are nothing compared to what you can really do. I pray that you will show me the breadth, and the length, and the height, and the depth, and let me know the love of Christ that surpasses understanding. Let me not hold on to it for myself, but show me how to pass it on so that, "through the church the manifold wisdom of God might be made known... " Continue to speak to me through your Word, Lord. You are truly beautiful and I see it more clearly every time see you, especially through your Word, but also through those around me through whom you shine. To you be all glory!

By Grace

Ephesians 2

8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

These are very familiar verses to me, I can almost say them in my sleep. But I love it when the Holy Spirit applies familiar verses to my life in a unique way as I pray through them. This has been the most amazing thing since I have started this blog. I have learned that the power in God's Word is found in more than just memorizing scripture. His words are more than just the ink on the page. The Spirit is alive and active in actually speaking to us through His Word if we will just soak it in!

Ephesians 2 has been so freeing to me today. I have fretted and wondered what to do for the new Christians around me. How we, as a church, and as individuals can teach them everything about Jesus in a short time so that they don't make any mistakes! This would be a daunting task even if I knew everything about Jesus to teach them, but since I don't, it gets even harder.

But praise be to God, he has already prepared the good works that these new believers are to walk in! Funny how I applied these verses to myself, but not to them. The Holy Spirit has always been about the business of expanding and ordering the Church. Who am I to think that if I don't impart all of my vast knowledge to everyone, they will all be stumbling in the darkness? Now I know that I have a responsibility to make disciples and that includes passing on what I have learned, and I am excited about doing that. But it is so freeing to know that I can't mess them up! Their salvation is not by their works, OR by mine, but because of the immeasurable riches of His grace. And he intends on showing all of His bride these riches, so I don't think he will lose anyone in the process. Sigh of relief! Whew (wiping sweat from my brow!)

Lord, I am thankful that I'm incapable of doing any good on my own! It would only lead to pride and self-righteousness. I am amazed at how you allow us the joy of being your hands and feet and seeing lives changed, and yet, you keep all of the responsibility for the results, because you are preparing our works and causing us to walk in them. It blows my mind! Please give me wisdom in dealing with others, help me to always lead them to you, for You are their hope, not me. Thank you for raising me up with you and allowing me to take part in this glorious plan of yours. I don't deserve to have my name in the same sentence with Christ, let alone be seated in heavenly places with Him. All glory to you, LORD!!

The Immeasurable Greatness of His Power

Ephesians 1 (15-23)

... that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19 and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might 20 that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, 21 far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. 22 And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, 23 which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all.

The church... the body... the fullness of him who fills all in all... that's us! We are the body, the extension of the One who fills all in all. We have behind us the immeasurable greatness of His power! The same power that raised Christ from the dead and placed him above all things!!

Father, I pray that you would give me a spirit of wisdom and knowledge of you. Of the hope you have called me to! Teach me to live each minute knowing that there are so many around me who do not have this hope and are waiting for me to show them. Show me the riches of the glorious inheritance, so that no trial or struggle in this life has any power over me. Show me the immeasurable greatness of your power, the power that raised Christ from the dead. I have seen it raise those who were dead in their sins and change their despair to hope!

I pray, Lord, that you will raise up a body of believers in this area who will believe in the greatness of your power enough devote their lives to spreading your Word. I pray that we would see a mighty display of your power in the lives of those around us!

Overflowing

This is not true to my blog's purpose, it is not meditation on any certain scripture, but I just have to share.

I cannot contain my emotion... rare for me! I feel like my heart is going to burst. Everything seems new and fresh and amazing today. I am seeing the world through the eyes of a new believer and it is increasing my affection for Jesus by bucketfuls. After 2 years of prayer, many messy, unorganized conversations about life and faith, 4 months of hearing the preaching of the word, and a few tears, my friend Heather was baptized today!

2 weeks ago she professed to me that her trust was placed fully in Jesus and she wants to follow Him. What a glorious day to see her profess this in front of the whole church in baptism. God has done a wonderful work in her life and in mine through her. It is invigorating to think of how her eyes have been opened for the first time to the real meaning of life and to the only One who can satisfy the longing of her soul.

I know that the daily grind of life will, at times, stifle this joy, and the struggle of life in a fallen world will continue. I know that things will not always feel this way for her or for me, but it is sweet to savor these moments when your heart lines up with what you know is true, and you really feel as if NOTHING else in this world matters but Jesus. How I pray that these times continue to increase in my life and I can say with the apostle Paul, "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." and "I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content." And how I pray that Heather will endure the struggle to come. There really is nothing in this life that matters except through Christ.

I'm Back

Wow, after 9 days, I think I'm slightly dehydrated! I ask all of my many readers :) to pray for me. I have been thirsty and refusing to drink. My heart is stubborn and unreasonable. I have been busy for the last week, but not THAT busy. I confess to you that I have not just been neglecting to post, but neglecting to drink of the living water on a regular basis. But praise God that today I drink! And praise God that, though I have been away from my blog, I have not been away from the Living Water Himself, because He never leaves me or forsakes me!

Ephesians 1
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, 4 even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him.

I have chosen, with my husband's help, to pray through the book of Ephesians. A great book to come back to! What freedom to know that He has chosen me to be holy and blameless before him. Whenever I see words like this in the Bible, "before him," it stops me dead in my reading tracks! I picture standing face to face with Him, and a strange mix of emotions flood over me. Love, fear, awe, shame, security, relief, and on and on. But when I allow myself to dwell on the truth, that I will stand before him, and do stand before him now, holy and blameless because of HIS substitution, I am elated!

Thank you, Lord, for YOU. Without you, I have nothing, I am nothing. Because of you I have everything. Literally, I have inherited everything! I can't even imagine. Help me to face today like I have everything wonderful to look forward to. Because I do.

No longer I who live

19 For through the law I died to the law, so that I might live to God. 20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

How often I forget that it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. I have the greatest joy and satisfaction when I remember this, but it seems that I am constantly chasing my own agenda! Even so, I do not read these verses and think, "Wow I really need to buckle down and live like Christ is living in me. It's my duty because He gave Himself for me." I actually am thinking, "Yeah, duh, that's why I'm miserable, because I'm fighting myself. I've got Christ living in me, trying to bring me happiness, and I am actually rebelling against my own happiness!"

I died to the law and I keep trying to live by it, and I fail and then give up and get discouraged, and find some other way to make myself happy. Umm... in case anyone was wondering, it never works! I can only find happiness in Christ and who He is and what He has done, and then live the rest of my life through that.

Lord, show your perfect strength in my weakness! Instead of me sitting at home trying to perfect all of my ideas and organize my unorganized life before I go out and minister, let me go out and make a mess of things for your name's sake and then watch you clean it up. Show me how to love others and show me that I don't have to do it perfectly because you already have. Let me live each day by faith, and throw away my own agenda and start living by Yours, one day at a time.

Freedom

Galatians 4: 4 But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, 5 to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. 6 And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” 7 So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.

How familiar, these verses, yet how forgotten in daily life. This daily grind of law, failure, guilt, more law, more failure, more guilt, is draining me. It was a little easier to deal with when the cycle went like this, law, success, self-righteousness, change the law to suit me a little better, success, self-righteousness. Self righteousness feels good for a time, but it ultimately kills everything genuinely good! And if you're unmotivated and lazy like me, you can't sustain it for very long anyway.

Confession: I cannot make myself love the Word of God by making a rule that says I have to read it at a certain time every morning. Don't misunderstand, good habits are good and helpful, and meditating on God's Word is a GREAT habit. But what happens when life circumstances make it difficult for a few days? If I was feeling really good about my habit, how will I feel when I break it? Typically, really bad! Herein lies the problem. The days that I slack in my habit-keeping, my God remains the same. My Jesus is still my substitute, I am still an heir through God! And this should be my source of joy, not my ability to keep my habit.

Confession: I cannot keep my marriage happy by making a rule that I will be available to my husband at all times. Again, don't misunderstand, I should be available to my husband, and he to me, at any given time. And my husband and I have a marriage that is as close to perfection as I could dream of in this dreadfully fallen world. But what happens when circumstances and sin make it difficult for me to want to be available? What if I was feeling really good about how good I am to my husband, and then for a few days I'm not so good? Again, I start feeling really bad, and life is terrible, and I am miserable. But on the days that our marriage falls below the "yellow line" into less than perfect status, our God remains the same. Our Jesus is still our substitute, and we are still heirs through God! And this should be our source of joy, not our ability to maintain a perfect marriage.

So, does all of this freedom that Christ has given me make me want to neglect my time in God's Word and keep myself from my husband? "What then? Are we to sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means!" (Rom 6:15) In fact, looking to Christ this morning, instead of my own righteousness (or lack thereof) has made me long for Him and His Word, and interestingly enough, has made me long for my husband (too bad he's not home.) :)

Lord, shine brightly, burn in my heart so that I never want to turn away. The darkness permeates so quickly, I can't afford to turn from your light for a second. But, O God, the peace in knowing that when I do turn away, you don't. And it is YOUR strength that keeps me, your hand that upholds me! "Thank you" sounds so weak. I have nothing to offer you that you have not given to me. Help me pour out my life as a living sacrifice, and cling to you with all that I am!

Psalm 16: Pleasant Places

Click here for Psalm 16

4 The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply;
their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out
or take their names on my lips.

5 The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
6 The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

I am tempted to be downcast today for various reasons. The sorrows of those who chase after another god will multiply. Maybe that's why I'm downcast. Maybe my heart is taking refuge in the wrong places and it's no refuge at all. The Lord holds my lot, how could I despair. The lines have truly fallen for me in pleasant places. In this life and for the future. I have a beautiful inheritance waiting for me, and, in the meantime, a life here that is so good it sometimes draws my heart away from my true home. God has turned my sins completely upside-down and made beauty from ashes! I head down a road of self-destruction and he turns it into a journey to everlasting joy!

7 I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.
8 I have set the Lord always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
10 For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.

11 You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Thank you, Lord, for giving me refuge, even when my stubborn heart resists! I shall not be shaken. You have made known to me the path of life while I was happily, unknowingly traveling the path of death. Therefore my heart is glad and my whole being rejoices! I have inherited fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore. Please teach me to receive that promise in faith. Quiet the lies in my head telling me that pleasure can be found elsewhere, or that it can't be found at all. Lord, when others are hurting, help me remember that I have no happiness to offer them aside from You!!

Psalm 115

Click here for Psalm 115

1 Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory,
for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness!

2 Why should the nations say,
“Where is their God?”
3 Our God is in the heavens;
he does all that he pleases.

I wonder how many times the world looks at the faith of a Christian and wonders, "Where is their God?" When cancer has taken over even through righteous prayers, when finances hit rock bottom even through faithful stewardship, where is their God? When Christians are praying for leaders and they make terrible decisions, when the economy of a free nation is crumbling, where is their God?

Our God is in the heavens and he does all that he pleases!

Things are not as they seem. God is working all of this out according to his pleasure, and we know that his pleasure is to do ultimate good for His people (Romans 8:28). The world cannot possibly see this without eyes of faith, so they are forced to try to make something good for themselves.

4 Their idols are silver and gold,
the work of human hands.
5 They have mouths, but do not speak;
eyes, but do not see.
6 They have ears, but do not hear;
noses, but do not smell.
7 They have hands, but do not feel;
feet, but do not walk;
and they do not make a sound in their throat.
8 Those who make them become like them;
so do all who trust in them.

Don't be fooled, idols (things that we use to make us feel like things are good when they don't look so good) cannot DO anything. But they sure LOOK like they can. I love this description of idols! They have mouths, eyes, ears, noses, hands, feet, throats. To the untrained eye they look pretty handy. But, in reality, they are completely USELESS! They cannot do anything for us. And when we begin to trust in them, we become like them, USELESS!

The world is producing idols at a frantic pace, desperate for something to fill the void. They are spending all of their time and energy on these useless idols, wasting their lives away. We possess the only thing that can save their wasted lives, the gospel of Jesus. And sometimes we are so enchanted by the world's beautiful idols that we are stumbling around useless like everyone else.

11 You who fear the Lord, trust in the Lord!
He is their help and their shield.
12 The Lord has remembered us; he will bless us;

Lord, help us to wait on your blessing, and stop fiddling around with these useless idols. Help us to trust in you and lift you up so that the world can see the One who is more beautiful than anything we can make. Allow us to see your beauty and your worth everyday so that we can see the folly of all of these idols in our hearts! Don't let us be fooled by thinking that if we make a really cool idol, we can attain some kind of glory. It will not fulfill. Only when we give all of the glory to you, will we be lifted up!

For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it. (Mark 8:35)

Psalm 144 Train My Hands For War

Psalm 144

1 Blessed be the Lord, my rock,
who trains my hands for war,
and my fingers for battle;
2 he is my steadfast love and my fortress,
my stronghold and my deliverer,
my shield and he in whom I take refuge,

3 O Lord, what is man that you regard him,
or the son of man that you think of him?
4 Man is like a breath;
his days are like a passing shadow.

5 Bow your heavens, O Lord, and come down!
Touch the mountains so that they smoke!

Father, train my hands for war and my fingers for the battle that is before me. I don't know how to fight this war against the darkness, but you do, and you have already defeated it!!! Just put me in line where I need to be, and touch the mountains so that they smoke, and I will follow your lead. Let me see your power in this ministry being formed. Give us your vision, Lord, your love, your hope, and your light. For YOU are all we have to offer people! Who am I, Lord, that you think of me? Even so, use me!

Psalm 103

Psalm 103

10 He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

15 As for man, his days are like grass;
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
16 for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
and its place knows it no more.
17 But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
and his righteousness to children's children,
18 to those who keep his covenant
and remember to do his commandments.
19 The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,
and his kingdom rules over all

How comforting it is to realize that our God is so much greater than our plans! Our days are like flowers that are here and then gone in a season. But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting. He has a glorious redemptive plan worked out. And He has chosen to use us, with all of our sin, to be a part of what He is doing. For he does not deal with us according to our sins, PRAISE GOD!

He has removed our sins from us as far as the east is from the west. Lord knows my sins have been many, and some of them great, and he knows them all very well. He paid for each of them. But I have nothing to hang my head over! He has taken them all and removed them from me, never to appear again. What freedom! And not just the sins of the past, but also of the future, the ones that will shock me tomorrow, he has already dealt with. I stand amazed!! How marvelous, how wonderful is my Savior's love for me!

20 Bless the Lord, O you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his word,
obeying the voice of his word!
21 Bless the Lord, all his hosts,
his ministers, who do his will!
22 Bless the Lord, all his works,
in all places of his dominion.
Bless the Lord, O my soul!

Let my soul join the hosts of heaven today! Bless the Lord, O my soul!

Psalm 82

Psalm 82

3 Give justice to the weak and the fatherless;
maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute.
4 Rescue the weak and the needy;
deliver them from the hand of the wicked.

5 They have neither knowledge nor understanding,
they walk about in darkness;
all the foundations of the earth are shaken.

The weak and the needy weigh heavy on my heart this morning. I feel so helpless when I see people everywhere hurting in so many ways and I can't fix it. They tell me their troubles and struggles and I just want to run to their rescue and be the hero, but I can't. I don't know what to do or how to help! I know that the gospel is the only real hope for everyone. But what about those who don't heed the call and come to Christ. What about those who are already in Christ and are still hurting? I know. The gospel. Christ is our only hope.

So many are walking about in the darkness, like the living dead stumbling through life. It looks so normal to us that we don't notice it, and in some ways we start looking like zombies ourselves!

God, let me be your hands and feet to the poor and needy (physically and spiritually!) Show me who they are and then teach me how to help them. All the foundations of the earth are shaken. Nothing is as it should be. Jesus, show me how your church, your bride, your body, should be rescuing. Let me walk among the living dead breathing life, the life that only you can give.

Psalm 1: In All That He Does He Prospers

Psalm 1

1 Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
2 but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

3 He is like a tree
planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.

My heart has been heavy for the lost lately. I have repented for trying to shelter myself and my family and realized that we need to be out in the world loving people, and that may mean associating with people who are not like us. But these verses remind me to be on guard in the midst of this mission. Surrounding myself with those who do not know the Lord calls for extra caution. God does not want me to begin to think like them, or take their counsel or walk in their way... that's not going to help anyone.

If I want our work to prosper, I must meditate and delight in God's Word!! I am praying and longing to yield fruit and God has just shown me how that is going to happen. God's words are cultivating in me a stronger love for Christ than I have ever had. This is what is going to bear fruit, in season, when God chooses. I praise Him today that He has given me the desire to soak up His Word.

Father, you know my heart, you know how weak I am! Let me love the people around me without falling. Let me use my Christian liberty to relate to people without becoming them. Lord, keep Your Word in my heart. Do not let this desire fade. I know that if I were left to myself, my love for your word will depart as quickly as it came. Help ours to be a church that is in love with Your Word and with the Jesus that it reveals so that our work here in these communitites will prosper.

Psalm 90: Establish The Work of Our Hands

Psalm 90

9 For all our days pass away under your wrath;
we bring our years to an end like a sigh.
10 The years of our life are seventy,
or even by reason of strength eighty;
yet their span is but toil and trouble;
they are soon gone, and we fly away.
11 Who considers the power of your anger,
and your wrath according to the fear of you?

12 So teach us to number our days
that we may get a heart of wisdom.

A thousand years in God's sight are "but as yesterday when it is past." "Like the grass that flourishes in the morning and fades and withers in the evening." This world is passing away, along with many of the people in it, and I am lamenting my youth slipping away from me. I'm distraught because my face is beginning to show signs that point to the fact that I'm going to get old! Duh! Somehow I am shocked by it. Never mind that everyone from the beginning of time has been getting older everyday. And no amount of working out or eating healthy has ever changed it. Oh, what useless agony to be concerned about aging!

Then I read this verse, "teach us to number our days, THAT WE MAY GET A HEART OF WISDOM." Interesting that numbering our days, or realizing that we're passing away = a heart of wisdom. I am so afraid of thinking about getting older that I am missing the blessing to be found in the mindset that thinks of this world as withering away. There is so much important work to be done and so little time! We see toil and struggle all of our days and we get so distracted by it, when God has left us here as rescuers, to deliver others from the toil!

14 Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,
that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
15 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
and for as many years as we have seen evil.
16 Let your work be shown to your servants,
and your glorious power to their children.
17 Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us,
and establish the work of our hands upon us;
yes, establish the work of our hands!

O, Lord, teach me to number my days, and be satisfied with your steadfast love. As we commit to working for you in the communities around us, it means nothing if you don't let Your work be shown, and Your glorious power be seen! Let the favor of our Lord be upon us here. Now. And establish the work of our hands!! Let us prosper in our Kingdom work, Lord, for your name's sake!

Psalm 139: You Know Me

Psalm 139

1 O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.

7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

13 For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.

God is acquainted with all of my ways. That could be scary! ... Or very encouraging, for God not only knows my ways, but He made my personality, He formed my inward parts. So, somewhere in the strange mix of who I am, is exactly the ingredients that God intends to use to cause me to walk in the good works that He has prepared for me. In the midst of the sin and the wandering heart inside of me is the light that someone else needs to see that will cause them to glorify our Father in heaven and turn to His Son for life.

Sometimes I feel so incompetent and incapable of the mission that God has set before me. But I am reminded that on the days that I feel closest to Him and my heart is soaring, and I feel like I can touch Him, He is there and my light is shining. But, just as true, on the days when I am in the depths of sin and despair, and my heart is chasing after some lesser pleasure, He is there and my light is shining, though dimly. I cannot flee from His presence because the Spirit has chosen to reside WITHIN me! What a thought. Even when I am doing my best to cover it up, the light of Jesus is shining, because I am in Him. It is who I am, not something I do.

So, Lord, search me and know my heart, find any grievous way within me. And I thank you that, while I am being sanctified, at every given moment, I am perfectly suited to do the work and live the life that you have laid out for me! Shine your light through me, Lord, and lead me in the way everlasting!

Psalm 78: Tell the Coming Generation

Psalm 78

18 They tested God in their heart
by demanding the food they craved.
19 They spoke against God, saying,
“Can God spread a table in the wilderness?
20 He struck the rock so that water gushed out
and streams overflowed.
Can he also give bread
or provide meat for his people?”

God has provided me with breath and life and light. He has given me a husband perfectly suited to me, and filled my home with wonderful children. He has given us an over abundance of food and drink to enjoy over the course of our lives, and a beautiful home to enjoy them in. He has pulled me out of the pit of destruction and made my steps secure! Do you think, maybe, he could make sure we have food to eat this week? And money to pay our bills? Because I'm not sure, I don't know if He can do it. It just seems such a daunting task for God, I just don't know...

Incredibly, this is how my mind works! Of course, I wouldn't say these words out loud, or even think them word for word in my head, but this is what it comes down to. I fret, I worry, I become downcast. Why, if I truly believe that God is my refuge and deliverer? Have I forgotten all that He has already done? What example am I showing my children?

2 I will open my mouth in a parable;
I will utter dark sayings from of old,
3 things that we have heard and known,
that our fathers have told us.
4 We will not hide them from their children,
but tell to the coming generation
the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might,
and the wonders that he has done. 5 He established a testimony in Jacob
and appointed a law in Israel,
which he commanded our fathers
to teach to their children,
6 that the next generation might know them,
the children yet unborn,
and arise and tell them to their children,
7 so that they should set their hope in God
and not forget the works of God

What would happen if I were constantly reminding my children all that God has done for us instead of walking around discouraged? They should NEVER hear me complain about money or lack of possessions!! What does that say to them about my faith in the goodness of God? If I want them to set their hope in God, and I do, then I must be revealing to them the true God who is always good to His people and always knows what's best for them. The true God whose ways are far above my ways and who deserves unquestioning, unwavering submission. The true God who never leaves and never forsakes!

Lord, help me to see you for who you are so that I can reflect you accurately to my children. Thank you for having a steadfast love that endures forever, so that when I fail and fall you are there to pick me up. You have made my steps secure. You have granted me so much more faith and grace in this area, but, Lord, I have a long way to go. Please reveal yourself to my children despite my failures. Please draw them to you, and let them set their hope in YOU!