Psalm 1: Revisited

I sought the Psalms this evening for some much needed hydration. My soul is parched. The good soil is being harvested all around me, and yet, inside I feel like I'm living in the desert. My dear friend and sister (again) said the words that I have said to others so many times but have such a hard time following, "soak in the Word!" So I started at Psalm 1. As I read I realized that I had posted on this a couple of months ago, and I thought, "I wonder what I wrote," so I checked.

How ironic! The words that I wrote only 2 months ago cut my heart in two! They were fresh like I had never heard them before, but familiar like I knew when I was writing them that I was going to need them. Only I didn't know... God did. The Holy Spirit is alive and active. To think that he was planning this 2 months ago blows my mind. Why does he even care? Because it is all part of the story of redemption! That's why I will get back on track.

Here is what I wrote. And in the meantime, in some ways, because I have not exercised caution, I have become like those I am trying to reach. I have not outwardly acted like them, but in ways I have begun to think like the world. I have indulged aspects of my personality I forgot existed! So do I quarantine myself to keep out the sin? No! I can't! God is doing mighty things in the lives of the people I have allowed into my life. I believe this is the very battle that God wants us engaged in. The answer is in Psalm 1. Delight in the Word!! And I have lost all delight in it in the past few weeks. I have done without the one thing I knew 2 months ago that I couldn't do without.

Father, I am begging you to give me the hunger. "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied." Forgive me for thinking that I could do this on my own. I want to chase after your glory, not mine. I want to bear your fruit in your time, and I know that I need YOU to do that. Make me the "tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers." Everything is failing, and now I know why. Thank you for your Word, thank you for the Spirit, and thank you for the friendship of beautiful people who are chasing your glory and speaking your truth.

How wimpy am I?!

Ephesians 6

5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, 6 not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, 7 rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, 8 knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free. 9 Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.

If God is telling slaves to obey their masters with a sincere heart, rendering service as to the Lord and not to man, how WIMPY am I when I grumble about the "hard day" that I have? Or when I feel sorry for myself because my family expects "too much" of me? Or when I have to help someone (render service) on a day that I didn't really want to?

I am reading Uncle Tom's Cabin right now so when I see the word "slave" it brings a vivid image to mind. And when I see that God is telling them, "It's OK, you can get through it, just do it as service for me, and I will reward you more than anything you can gain in this world," it gives me great hope. First, hope for all of the slaves that have been so grossly mistreated, here in our country, and around the world. For those who had placed their hope in Jesus, they have finally found rest and fulfillment and true life. Second, it gives me hope for me! I don't have to try to fight for my own way all the time, I can just serve and rest in Christ and know that I don't have to get mine now, I'll be given more in heaven than I could ever steal here!!

(If you've never read Uncle Tom's Cabin, it's not easy reading, but it's well worth the time! It's giving me a whole new perspective on suffering and injustice. Sometimes we need stories more than we need facts.)

Lord, thank you for your forgiveness for my stubborn, self-centered heart. Give me the grace of a content slave, knowing that the more that is expected of me here that I do as service to you, the more treasure I am building in heaven. Help me to keep my eyes and heart zoomed in on YOU. Give me tunnel-vision so that I am free to give myself in service to others. Give me your heart for my children and allow me to serve them gladly! Thank you for the promise of so great a reward, to be able to see you face to face and enjoy you, the fountain of joy, for all eternity. The polar opposite of what I deserve.

Who's love story is this?

Ephesians 5: 22-32

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Wow, I think I have heard and read this passage more than any other in the whole Bible. Mostly because every woman's book, bible study, or conference seems to focus here for at least a time. With good reason, this and the couple of verses in Titus 2 are two of the very few passages that give direct commands to women specifically. However, I have found in my own marriage that if I focus too much on this command and not enough on the context of it, my marriage gets worse not better. Or it gets better on the surface, but God is not necessarily glorified. Maybe that's why Paul acts like marriage is the secondary issue in what he is saying here.

He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Everything that is said in these verses is referring to Christ and the church first and foremost. That is the greatest reality, that is what is going to last forever. That is the Great Romance. Our marriages are serving this greater reality of Christ and the church. So much so that at the end of it, Paul has to remind us (v. 33 "however") that it is a good idea that husbands love and wives respect. He has to do that because right before it he basically says, I'm not really talking about your marriage, only so far as it is a picture of who Christ is and how he relates to his church.

How many times have you heard this passage talked about or preached about with the main idea being the wonderful romance between Christ and His bride? Usually that is only talked about as a way to show us how we should submit and how we should love in our own marriages. What a therapeutic culture we live in. In reality it is the other way around. We should submit and love and have good marriages so that people can see the greater beautiful picture of Christ and His church. God did not make marriage the main issue and then use Christ and the church as an illustration. He always makes Christ the main issue. Everything else on this earth is just an illustration!

How easy it is to put all of our focus on this world, this life, this vapor, when preachers, and teachers, and authors, and leaders are trying to use the bible to make our marriages happier, and our kids better, and our jobs more fulfilling, and our lives more successful. When actually, God intends to use all of these things to exalt Christ, not use Christ to exalt us. Now, when Christ is exalted, the happiness of his people is inevitable. When our lives are laid down, he exalts us. He wants us to seek happiness with our whole hearts, through him. But if we are looking for happiness directly from our marriages by submitting and respecting our husbands and thinking that is going to make everything perfect, we WILL be disappointed.

I'm stepping down off of my soapbox now!

Father, help me to see YOU when I read the scriptures. Help me to keep you and your kingdom at the center of my universe. Give me grace to submit to my husband and give the church grace to submit to you. Help my marriage be as accurate a picture of Christ and His church as two sinners could make it. Thank you for showing me your unending, unchanging, unbreakable love through the tenacious love of my husband that seems to cover all of my sin and shortcomings. Thank you most of all for giving yourself up for your bride. I cannot imagine the day when we are presented to you in splendor, without spot or wrinkle, holy and without blemish to be your bride through all eternity. What a love story!

The Dangers of Penetrating the Darkness

Ephesians 5:1-21

8 for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 9 (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), 10 and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. 11 Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. 13 But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, 14 for anything that becomes visible is light.

It is such a struggle to live in this fallen world, to take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness. For Christians who are trying to keep their hearts and minds safe, and their lives pure, outside influences can be such a hindrance and a danger. The world is full of darkness and we want to stay as far away from the darkness as we possibly can. It's not easy. Turn on the television. Log on to the internet. Drive down the highway. Listen to children talk on the playground. Listen to women talk on the phone. Listen to men talk at work. The Darkness is like slime oozing out of everything in this world.

But we are faced with these situations everyday. Most of us partake in TV. We put our hands over our children's eyes during the "bad" commercials, but then watch the shows that are promoting self-centeredness, and idolotry. We log on to the internet with a filter to filter out the "bad stuff" and then slam each other on blogs and email, and spend God's money on Ebay on things we don't need. We try not to see the racy billboards on our way to an all-you-can-eat buffet every other night to spend money we don't have on food we shouldn't eat. And on and on.

But did God actually ask us to stay away from the darkness? Or did He send us to expose it and light it up? Most of what we do, we do in our Christian homes and with our Christian friends, all the while trying to keep out the darkness. Trying to be in the world, but not of it. In reality, I think what we end up doing is being of the world (partaking in most of the things that the world does) and not in it (doing it with our Christian friends instead of reaching out to those in darkness.)

My question is, how can we expose the darkness if we are not near it? Light penetrates the darkness only when it engages it. If you light a candle two rooms away from the room that is dark, it doesn't do much good. So how much good are we doing, when the darkness in our lives is coming mostly from inanimate objects (TV, internet, etc.?) Our light never gets anywhere near the darkness in the hearts of unregenerate people because we are scared to death to be around them. What will my friends think if they see me hanging out with a drunk? If I'm not in the church building or small group, what business do I have eating with heathens? What if I get caught in a restaurant with a non-christian and she orders a glass of wine. Maybe 3 glasses and starts to show the effect? What if I'm giggling and laughing with her and everyone thinks I'm drunk, too. Are you getting nervous for me?

Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear him. 2 And the Pharisees and the scribes grumbled, saying, “This man receives sinners and eats with them.”

10 And as Jesus reclined at table in the house, behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and were reclining with Jesus and his disciples. 11 And when the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”

The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Look at him! A glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’

These things were said about Jesus. Am I afraid to have them said about me? Yeah, sometimes I am. Sometimes I don't know where to draw the line. I don't have the perfect mind of God like Jesus did. But I do know that I cannot spend all of my days basking in the bright light of so many Christians gathered together. At some point we have to disperse and shine our lights into the dark places. Are we going to fall into sin, as we eat with sinners? Maybe. Are we going to be ridiculed? Probably. Are we going to cross the line of being of the world instead of just in it? I hope not. But are we already crossing that line in our homes, while keeping our light under a bushel? Probably.

"If you are a preacher of mercy, do not preach an imaginary but the true mercy. If the mercy is true, you must therefore bear the true, not an imaginary sin. God does not save those who are only imaginary sinners. Be a sinner, and let your sins be strong (sin boldly), but let your trust in Christ be stronger, and rejoice in Christ who is the victor over sin, death, and the world. We will commit sins while we are here, for this life is not a place where justice resides. We, however, says Peter (2. Peter 3:13) are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth where justice will reign." ~Martin Luther

Father, help me, today, to discern what is pleasing to you. Clear my heart and mind of all of the preconcieved notions that I have of you and of what it means to be a disciple. Then fill me with the truth. Be near me, Lord, and keep me safe from the dangers of the darkness, even as I walk directly into it. Shine brightly, so that others will see you. Forgive me for when I have crossed the line and partaken in the unfruitful works of darkness. But help me to be bold and courageous in being near the darkness in order to bear fruit for your Kingdom. And in those times when I am uncertain, thank you that you are my all in all, and because of you, I am FREE!

Ephesians 4

I sat at my computer yesterday morning and typed a sentence, then deleted it... then typed a sentence, then deleted it. Finally, I realized that I really didn't have anything to share. My spirit was rather dry, so I had nothing overflowing to give to others. Before I tried to post, I tried to pray. It wasn't much better. I didn't know what to pray, so I just asked God to sort out my heart and mend it, because I didn't know why I was feeling so down.

1 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

God did sort out my heart. He did it through a dear friend who was walking in the manner worthy of her calling. She encouraged me with the gospel, with the fact that even though I felt far away, the Spirit was near, interceding for me. Then she was bold enough to ask me if I had any unconfessed sin that needed to be addressed. Wow! Short version of the story: I did, and because she asked, I humbled myself and went God for forgiveness and to the person that I had wronged. After I did, I felt so free, the way that those who the Son has set free should feel. I am thankful that God didn't leave us on this earth to fight against the darkness alone! He left us the rest of the body of Christ to bear with us in love.

15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

Father, let me not forget that we are each a crucial part of your body. You have a part for each of us to play, and when we play our part, lives are changed. Help me to see each of my brothers and sisters as important to my sanctification, and I to them, so that we can build the body up in love, and we can bring in the rest of the body who has yet to be added. Thank you for not leaving me here to flounder on my own, for my heart is deceitful and so many times I don't know it. Bring unity to the body here, Lord. Let us stand united against the darkness and watch you scatter your Light to places and people that have never seen it.