Light

1 John 1

5 This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. 6 If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.

"Father, as you prepare my heart for service, show me the light. I long to be warmed by it, but also to catch fire from it. I need the light to shine on my path, and I need it to blind my eyes to everything else. You are the Light, and You are the Consuming Fire, and I want to feel the heat! My heart's desire is to walk in the light, You are the light, so reveal Yourself to me yet again, Lord. Shine Your light on my heart, search me and know me, I am laid bare before You, cleanse me so that I can lay down my life for others."

God Of All Comfort

Well, I'm back... but my mind is being stubborn and indecisive! So I need your help... I can't decide what book of the Bible to pray through! Any suggestions? Pray for me, dear sisters! I desperately want to get back into routine, but I feel like I am fighting a losing battle here! Even for this one simple thing, I can't just make a decision and move forward. God has great things lined up, I just know it! And the Enemy knows it as well, but He that is in me is greater than he that is in the world and the Lord will prevail! I am reading 2 Corinthians this week for something else, so for today, I'll go with that...

2 Corinthians 1

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. 6 If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. 7 Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.

The Lord has given me a wonderful illustration of these verses in the last month. For the most part, I have had very little affliction in my life,(maybe that's why I am not very good at comforting others!) Most of my affliction has been brought about by my own hands through sin and rebellion. But, even in those times, in those self-inflicted afflictions, my Shepherd has been so faithful to comfort me. At times, I have seen my sin and trembled and had to look away, and He has been there, holding my hand, and gently turning my gaze toward the cross. He has recently brought a dear friend into my life who has been afflicted in the past, at times by her own hands, and at times by Providence, and the Lord has used her to wrap me with His comfort in a way that I have never experienced! I was amazed to read these verses and think about how He is orchestrating every circumstance in our lives. How could this dear woman know that years later the Lord's glory and his Bride's joy would be multiplied by her afflictions? And now, I want to be her, I want to be the one to bring the comfort of God into the lives of others, and I believe that He is going to bless me with that opportunity!

"Father, I am so amazed at the way that you comfort your people! Afflictions I understand, we have earned those, and worse. But Your comfort, and love, and gentleness, and favor, I cannot comprehend. That our afflictions are not for punishment, but rather for our joy and for the joy and salvation of others is such a beautiful gift. Lord, make me more like you, give me the heart to comfort, give me the heart of a servant. Teach me to look beyond myself and my little life and use me for your eternal glory!"

Who Am I?

Who Am I/Grace Flows Down (click to watch)

Over time You’ve healed so much in me
And I am living proof
That although my darkest hour would come
Your light could still shine through
Though at times it’s just enough to cast
A shadow on the wall
Well I am grateful that
You shine Your light on me at all

Who am I
That You would love me so gently?
Who am I
That You would recognize my name?
Lord, who am I
That You would speak to me so softly?
Conversation with the Love most high,..
Who am I?

Well, amazing grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now I’m found
Was blind but now I see
And the more I sing that sweet old song
The more I understand-
That I do not comprehend this love
That’s coming from Your hand…

Grace, grace
God’s grace
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within
Grace, grace
God’s grace
Grace that is greater than all our sin…

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
Amazing love, now flowing down
From hands and feet
That were nailed to the tree
Grace flows down and covers me…

Instead of slamming me upside the head, which He has every right to do, (and sometimes does,) the Lord has spoken to me so gently and so softly in the last month! He has brought about the perfect circumstances and put the perfect people into my life to renew my hunger for His Word! I heard this song a couple weeks ago, and though it is one of my old favorites, it suddenly came to life! All this to say... Monday... I'm back.

Consumed With My First Love

Acts 2

42 And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. 43 And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. 44 And all who believed were together and had all things in common. 45 And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. 46 And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, 47 praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.

I don't really know why I began reading in Acts this week. I usually have a rational thought process before deciding what to read. This time I just finished John (which I am reading for accountability with a new believer) and my eyes hit the next page, so I started reading Acts. When I read this passage in Chapter 2, my heart was suddenly filled with overwhelming desire. I have read these verses many times in books about church and discipleship, and I have heard them preached and I know the significance of them. But this time, I caught a glimpse of a scene where everyone was consumed with Christ the way we are consumed with a new lover... (Do you remember?) Something in me wanted to be immediately transported to this scene.

I want to be consumed with nothing else but God's Kingdom! I want to throw everything else away. This life is a vapor, a breath, and we have ONE mission here, to keep each other strong in our pursuit of Christ in order that we can see "the Lord adding to our number day by day!" There are endless distractions that keep us from this mission. We are constantly trying to get what we can out of this life, when Jesus promised us that if we would lose this life for His sake, we would gain EVERYTHING.

God help me not be satisfied with the petty toys and pleasures that are available to me here. Amaze me everyday with who you are, so that all of these other things just fade away and I continue to strive for the ultimate prize. I thank you that you have promised to keep me, and that nothing can pluck me out of your hand, because there are a whole lot of somethings giving it their best shot!

Psalm 1: Revisited

I sought the Psalms this evening for some much needed hydration. My soul is parched. The good soil is being harvested all around me, and yet, inside I feel like I'm living in the desert. My dear friend and sister (again) said the words that I have said to others so many times but have such a hard time following, "soak in the Word!" So I started at Psalm 1. As I read I realized that I had posted on this a couple of months ago, and I thought, "I wonder what I wrote," so I checked.

How ironic! The words that I wrote only 2 months ago cut my heart in two! They were fresh like I had never heard them before, but familiar like I knew when I was writing them that I was going to need them. Only I didn't know... God did. The Holy Spirit is alive and active. To think that he was planning this 2 months ago blows my mind. Why does he even care? Because it is all part of the story of redemption! That's why I will get back on track.

Here is what I wrote. And in the meantime, in some ways, because I have not exercised caution, I have become like those I am trying to reach. I have not outwardly acted like them, but in ways I have begun to think like the world. I have indulged aspects of my personality I forgot existed! So do I quarantine myself to keep out the sin? No! I can't! God is doing mighty things in the lives of the people I have allowed into my life. I believe this is the very battle that God wants us engaged in. The answer is in Psalm 1. Delight in the Word!! And I have lost all delight in it in the past few weeks. I have done without the one thing I knew 2 months ago that I couldn't do without.

Father, I am begging you to give me the hunger. "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied." Forgive me for thinking that I could do this on my own. I want to chase after your glory, not mine. I want to bear your fruit in your time, and I know that I need YOU to do that. Make me the "tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers." Everything is failing, and now I know why. Thank you for your Word, thank you for the Spirit, and thank you for the friendship of beautiful people who are chasing your glory and speaking your truth.

How wimpy am I?!

Ephesians 6

5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, 6 not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, 7 rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, 8 knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free. 9 Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.

If God is telling slaves to obey their masters with a sincere heart, rendering service as to the Lord and not to man, how WIMPY am I when I grumble about the "hard day" that I have? Or when I feel sorry for myself because my family expects "too much" of me? Or when I have to help someone (render service) on a day that I didn't really want to?

I am reading Uncle Tom's Cabin right now so when I see the word "slave" it brings a vivid image to mind. And when I see that God is telling them, "It's OK, you can get through it, just do it as service for me, and I will reward you more than anything you can gain in this world," it gives me great hope. First, hope for all of the slaves that have been so grossly mistreated, here in our country, and around the world. For those who had placed their hope in Jesus, they have finally found rest and fulfillment and true life. Second, it gives me hope for me! I don't have to try to fight for my own way all the time, I can just serve and rest in Christ and know that I don't have to get mine now, I'll be given more in heaven than I could ever steal here!!

(If you've never read Uncle Tom's Cabin, it's not easy reading, but it's well worth the time! It's giving me a whole new perspective on suffering and injustice. Sometimes we need stories more than we need facts.)

Lord, thank you for your forgiveness for my stubborn, self-centered heart. Give me the grace of a content slave, knowing that the more that is expected of me here that I do as service to you, the more treasure I am building in heaven. Help me to keep my eyes and heart zoomed in on YOU. Give me tunnel-vision so that I am free to give myself in service to others. Give me your heart for my children and allow me to serve them gladly! Thank you for the promise of so great a reward, to be able to see you face to face and enjoy you, the fountain of joy, for all eternity. The polar opposite of what I deserve.

Who's love story is this?

Ephesians 5: 22-32

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Wow, I think I have heard and read this passage more than any other in the whole Bible. Mostly because every woman's book, bible study, or conference seems to focus here for at least a time. With good reason, this and the couple of verses in Titus 2 are two of the very few passages that give direct commands to women specifically. However, I have found in my own marriage that if I focus too much on this command and not enough on the context of it, my marriage gets worse not better. Or it gets better on the surface, but God is not necessarily glorified. Maybe that's why Paul acts like marriage is the secondary issue in what he is saying here.

He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Everything that is said in these verses is referring to Christ and the church first and foremost. That is the greatest reality, that is what is going to last forever. That is the Great Romance. Our marriages are serving this greater reality of Christ and the church. So much so that at the end of it, Paul has to remind us (v. 33 "however") that it is a good idea that husbands love and wives respect. He has to do that because right before it he basically says, I'm not really talking about your marriage, only so far as it is a picture of who Christ is and how he relates to his church.

How many times have you heard this passage talked about or preached about with the main idea being the wonderful romance between Christ and His bride? Usually that is only talked about as a way to show us how we should submit and how we should love in our own marriages. What a therapeutic culture we live in. In reality it is the other way around. We should submit and love and have good marriages so that people can see the greater beautiful picture of Christ and His church. God did not make marriage the main issue and then use Christ and the church as an illustration. He always makes Christ the main issue. Everything else on this earth is just an illustration!

How easy it is to put all of our focus on this world, this life, this vapor, when preachers, and teachers, and authors, and leaders are trying to use the bible to make our marriages happier, and our kids better, and our jobs more fulfilling, and our lives more successful. When actually, God intends to use all of these things to exalt Christ, not use Christ to exalt us. Now, when Christ is exalted, the happiness of his people is inevitable. When our lives are laid down, he exalts us. He wants us to seek happiness with our whole hearts, through him. But if we are looking for happiness directly from our marriages by submitting and respecting our husbands and thinking that is going to make everything perfect, we WILL be disappointed.

I'm stepping down off of my soapbox now!

Father, help me to see YOU when I read the scriptures. Help me to keep you and your kingdom at the center of my universe. Give me grace to submit to my husband and give the church grace to submit to you. Help my marriage be as accurate a picture of Christ and His church as two sinners could make it. Thank you for showing me your unending, unchanging, unbreakable love through the tenacious love of my husband that seems to cover all of my sin and shortcomings. Thank you most of all for giving yourself up for your bride. I cannot imagine the day when we are presented to you in splendor, without spot or wrinkle, holy and without blemish to be your bride through all eternity. What a love story!