Comforts from the Cross

I have begun a daily devotional called "Comforts from the Cross" by Elyse Fitzpatrick. I thank God for gospel-centered books and authors. It is so refreshing to read books and articles that point me to the gospel rather than leave me looking inward at myself and my sin. And this is one of them.

I know that there is a time for self-examination, but it should never overshadow meditation on Christ and the cross! Here is a quote from Robert M. M'Cheyne that really touched me this morning as I thought about self-examination and the cross.

"Now, do not look so long and harassingly at your own heart and feelings. What will you find there but the bite of the serpent? You were shapen in iniquity, and the whole of your natural life has been spent in sin. The more God opens your eyes, the more you will feel that you are lost in yourself. This is your disease. Now for the remedy. Look to Christ; for the glorious Son of God so loved lost souls, that he took on him a body and died for us--bore our curse, and obeyed the law in our place. Look to Him and live. You need no preparation, you need no endeavours, you need no duties, you need no strivings, you only need to look and live... Do not take up your time so much with studying your heart as with studying Christ's heart. 'For one look at yourself, take ten looks at Christ!'"

That 1:10 ratio of looking at self and looking at Christ seems to be the opposite proportion of what we see in bookstores and on the internet. The How-To and How-Not-To books seem to far outweigh the Here, Have a Drink of the Living Water books. Reading and contemplating how to be more Christ-like somehow doesn't quench my thirst the way that reading about and contemplating Christ does. I think maybe it is designed that way. "And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit," 2 Cor. 3:18.

According to this text, as we behold the glory of the Lord, we are being transformed into His image. So, in contrast, if I am constantly beholding myself, looking inward, into what am I being transformed? Scary thought! I certainly don't want more of myself! "Jesus, Savior more of thee, Come and ruin me with Your love, So no other is enough."

"Lord, do come and ruin me with Your love! I am so weary of contemplating myself. Thank you for brothers and sisters in Christ who point me to You. Not only the ones near to me, but the authors and teachers who have labored for Your glory and have kept You at the center of all that they write and teach. Show me my sin for what it is, Lord, dark, disgusting and wretched. But I will be devastated if you don't then show me Your glory, bright, infinitely beautiful, and given to me at the cross! Let me be transformed into the image of Christ as I gaze on His beauty."

Wash over me, till I can't be seen

Friend for life, Who took my pain
The cleansing flood, You remain
Wash over me, Till I can't be seen

Living Water swallow me
Deepest river wash me clean
Jesus, Savior more of thee
Jesus, more of thee
Come and ruin me with Your love
So no other is enough
Come and leave Your mark on me
Jesus, more of thee
Jesus, more of thee

Friend for life, I'll carry on
Through the power Of this flood
Let it spill over, over, Till I can't be seen

Deep is the stain, Inside of me
But deeper the river, That washes me clean
I've been the one Who cries in the night
But you've been, The friend of my life

This is an older song and was never a single, but the words are so precious.
Lord, I join Watermark in this prayer today! Swallow me, wash me clean, wash over me until I can't be seen.

Getting Drunk

Ephesians 5:15-21

8 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit...

Confession: I love wine. I don't think I've ever tasted a wine that I didn't like.

I don't get drunk with wine, but there was a time when I did (well not wine, but similar things.) Today, after one glass or two, I know that's it. Limit reached. No more. God has graciously taken away the screaming voice inside my head telling me I need more. But there is still a whisper. I have to exercise self-control every time because I know that it is best for me. I know that one more glass will not bring the joy that it promises, in fact it will bring the opposite, guilt and misery. Over indulgence in alcohol is at the center of so many bad memories and regrets in my past.

But what I meant for evil, God meant for good! (Gen 50:20) Because of my past, when I read this passage today I am intimately familiar with the deep desire for the good feeling that comes with too much wine. I also know that the good feeling only lasts for a little while, usually followed by thoughts or acts that bring destruction and depression. Isn't it interesting that alcohol can make you feel so good for a short time, when it is really a depressant? It actually brings you down. Maybe God did that on purpose. To me, alcohol is symbolic of everything that this world has to offer. It promises happiness and fulfillment, fun and excitement, and what it truly brings is misery and emptiness, death and destruction.

I love it that God, through Paul, uses this comparison here. Do not be drunk with wine, be filled with the Spirit. It is proof that God uses His commands not only for His glory, but for our joy. The wine brings empty promises, but the Spirit brings that life that we are longing for when we go after the wine! The Lord doesn't want us to be satisfied with just wine, that's a sissy drink! Sure, wine is enjoyable when taken in moderation, and I believe that He gave it to us as a gift, to "gladden" our hearts (Psalm 104:15). But, as with all of His gifts, it serves to point us to the giver. He invites us to come over and drink the real thing, the drink of the King.

So, where can I find this drink? How can I be drunk (filled) with the Spirit? Easy. How do I get drunk with wine? Drink it. Drink a lot of it! Jesus stood up and cried out, "If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’” Now this he said about the Spirit... (John 7:37-39)

To drink of the Living Water we need to pick up the bottle (the Bible!) And because this drink (the Spirit) does not submit to us as a bottle does, but goes wherever He pleases... we also need to pray for it!

With wine, I feel the desire, but I have to exercise restraint. With the Spirit, the Lord says, drink freely, drink often, drink much! What a freedom! The one thing in life that will deliver what it promises and I am allowed to get drunk on it!

"Lord, teach my heart not to be satisfied with what this world has to offer. There is so much more! You have given us life-giving water, and so many times I refuse to drink! If you set a bottle of good wine before me and told me to drink, I doubt that I would hesitate. How childish are my desires. Teach me to have "child-like" desires instead. Give me the child-like faith that believes you when you say that if I drink of your water I will never be thirsty again!"

Reckless Love

Mark 14: 1-10

3 And while he was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, as he was reclining at table, a woman came with an alabaster flask of ointment of pure nard, very costly, and she broke the flask and poured it over his head. 4 There were some who said to themselves indignantly, “Why was the ointment wasted like that? 5 For this ointment could have been sold for more than three hundred denarii and given to the poor.” And they scolded her.

Most likely without calculating and without deliberating, this woman poured out the most valuable thing she had in an act of impulsive love toward Jesus. For us conservative christian types this looks... well... stupid. How did that help anything? What does anyone have to show for it? Apparently that is exactly what some of those in the room thought as well. And they scolded her for it. I can't imagine that being scolded in public is very much fun. Especially when she was involved in something that was deeply emotional. Maybe we wouldn't have scolded her out loud, but for some of us, our conservative sensibilities tell us that she was being overly emotional and she could have found a better use for her possessions.

Jesus disagrees.

6 But Jesus said, “Leave her alone. Why do you trouble her? She has done a beautiful thing to me... " (The way that Jesus came to her rescue here brought me to tears this morning as I prayed through this.)

I am so inclined to be like those in the room and calculate what I give of myself. I do it constantly. With my children, with my husband, with my friends, with my service to the Lord in every area. Now, I know that it is wise to decide what is the best use of my time, and that I can't say yes to everything, but is wisdom always my motive, or is it usually just selfishness? Like, if I give this much, there's not much left for me. Wisdom is desirable, but I think that this passage shows us that there is a time to just be "irresponsible" and pour out everything you have just because you love Jesus that much. No calculating, no wondering what the outcome will be, no wondering if everyone will think you're crazy, just give.

Lord, grant me the faith and the love that this woman had. Let me break open this jar and pour out my life to you with reckless abandon. It is so easy for me to deliberate over choices and weigh options so long that I don't do anything. It is so easy to always wonder if I could be doing something different. Lord, show me what you would have me do, and let me jump in with both feet and pour my life out for the cause of Your Kingdom. Not only in the big things, but in everyday choices. Let me be used up for you, and stop holding so much back for myself and my selfish desires! Help me to see your beauty and know that anything that I hold back is only keeping me from the true happiness and fulfillment that can only be found in You.

Dependence

Isaiah 42: 1-4

1 Behold my servant, whom I uphold,
my chosen, in whom my soul delights;
I have put my Spirit upon him;
he will bring forth justice to the nations.
2 He will not cry aloud or lift up his voice,
or make it heard in the street;
3 a bruised reed he will not break,
and a faintly burning wick he will not quench;
he will faithfully bring forth justice.
4 He will not grow faint or be discouraged
till he has established justice in the earth;
and the coastlands wait for his law.

In my reading this morning I came across these verses as an illustration of the perfect servant. I have always known this passage as a description of Christ, but never thought about it specifically as something for me to try to imitate. The author of the book I am reading says, "Christ the promised Messiah, rendered the perfect devotion and service that Israel had failed to give and met the highest ideals of both His Father and of man... Isaiah depicts the ideal Servant of Jehovah and the qualities He will display." (J. Oswald Sanders) Of course, in the New Testament we get to see Jesus display these qualities and we are told to imitate them (John 13:12-16, among others.)

These verses are packed full of attributes, and I invite you to meditate on all of them, but one of them really pierced my heart today. The very first words, "Behold, my servant whom I uphold..." are filled with life application for me! Jesus' dependence on the Father is such a beautiful mystery. If the Father was upholding Jesus while He was on this earth (at the same time Jesus was upholding the universe,) then how much more do I need Him to uphold me? My dependence on Him is all-encompassing! I need Him for everything, from wisdom in ministry right down to the breath that I just took. Jesus, who created everything with just his words, displays utter dependence on the Father. And, I, who can't even take my own breath without him, let alone create something else, act like I've got everything under control!

Reading these verses this morning after yesterday hearing my husband preach a message out of Luke about the mystery of the incarnation and Christ's dependence on the Father and the Spirit, leads me to believe that the Spirit is wanting me to GET this message right now. The Lord has offered me some new ministry opportunities recently and He is faithful in teaching me the lessons that I will need in order to shine for Him. I have nothing to offer anyone but the living water that flows from the Lord! So if I am not completely dependent on Him in ministry then I am really giving nothing.

Lord, teach me to fall on you! Show me what it means to depend on you for everything. Let me humble myself so that your name can be lifted up. I can't even give my family what they need apart from your Living Water. I lift up my cup, Lord, fill it to overflowing so that your love and truth spill over onto those around me.

Enabling?

Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. (Luke 7:27-28)

Familiar passage right? Love your enemies, pray for them, do good to them, I know, I get it, I do that (sometimes.) Don't I? I have struggled with these words and what they really mean. Who is my enemy? Who is it that curses me or abuses me? And what does it mean to "do good" to them or to "bless" them? Isn't it just enabling them at some point if they just keep on cursing and hating and abusing? Isn't it simply unjust to continue doing good to someone who doesn't act grateful?

I have prayed and cried, and been outraged and angry, and overjoyed and delighted, and hurt and lonely, and humbled and grateful because of these verses many times in the last several months. I have felt betrayed by those "enemies" I have tried to bless, and I have felt betrayed by other believers who have questioned my "blessing." I have been sure that I am right and that I am loving the way that Jesus loved, and other times I have been sure that my skeptics are right and my "doing good" is just enabling people to continue in sinful patterns. These things seem so easy to figure out, until you actually DO them!

Today, my husband read me this passage (because he is preaching through Luke right now) and I was amazed at the rest of the story here. I always read over it so quickly before. Here is the rest.

Luke 7

27 “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29 To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. 30 Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. 31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.

32 “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. 35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. 36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.

There is so much here, and I won't bore you with my thoughts on all of it, but a couple things really hit me upside the head today. "from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either." and "Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back." This is REALLY radical! Is there ever a time when you can give too much? Seriously?

When someone steals from you and then comes and asks you to help them, what do you do? (v. 29b) If you are tempted to say, "well if they repent of stealing from me then maybe I would help them," look again at the verses... they never mention repentance. Jesus is talking about ENEMIES here! Those who curse you and abuse you!

When someone needs your help (I'm talking real, tangible, uncomfortable, financial, burden-yourself help) and you KNOW that they are going to go out the next day and buy cigarettes and beer and run themselves into debt again, what do you do? (v. 30) Again, Jesus never mentions anyone "getting their act together," he just says "give to everyone... do not demand... love... bless... pray... offer... lend... be merciful"

Is God "enabling" me every time He gives me another breath knowing that, more often than not, I am going to use that breath to build my own kingdom rather than His? Is He "enabling" me every time He gives me a penny, knowing that, more often than not, I am going to use it to fulfill my own temporary desires rather than further the cause of Christ? Probably. But He keeps on giving!

35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. 36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.

He is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Wow! This is an amazing love, and one that I think we are supposed to emulate. Not easy, but freeing. I think it's OK to love! I think it's OK to err on the side of grace. I think it's OK to help someone who squanders away your blessing. God does it with me everyday.

Lord,
Teach me to love better, to love more, and to love freely. Keep me focused on the "great reward" to come, when I will be allowed to live an eternity in Your presence where there is fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore. Let the consequences of giving freely in this fallen world be overshadowed in my heart by the thought of the joy that awaits me.

When my world is shaking...

...Heaven stands.